There’s something about grief that feels so heavy, like it wants to plant roots and stay with you forever. It’s easy to get lost in it, to let it take over. But the truth is, while grief is necessary, staying in that place for too long can become a trap—a place where you’re stuck in a comfortable sadness, unable to move forward. Healing is a journey, not a destination, and at some point, we have to push ourselves out of the darkness and back into the light.

I know that’s easier said than done. There have been moments when it all felt overwhelming, like I’d never come up for air. But here’s what I’ve learned: as hard as it is, we have to keep moving. We have to keep pushing ourselves forward, even when it feels impossible.

There comes a moment when the grief, as important as it is, becomes a weight we no longer need to carry. It's strange how we hold onto a feeling, almost like by keeping it, we might somehow change the reason we feel that way in the first place. But here’s the thing about healing: it also requires a little bit of tough love. As much as I’d love to curl up under a blanket and wait for everything to change, that’s not how it works. It’s not about “getting over it” or forgetting what happened; it’s about finding a way to move with it, to rebuild your life around the pain, not in spite of it.

Focus on the small things

Healing doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Sometimes, it’s the small things that make the biggest difference. I've been focusing on and appreciating the love and kindness that has been show to our family during this time and it has shifted my attention from grief to gratitude.

There have been a few things that made a huge impact and brought little glimmers of light, helping me move forward. The fresh flowers and cookies from a thoughtful friend, getting out of the house for lunch to regain a sense of normalcy, and cozying up in new fuzzy slippers—these small comforts somehow felt like warm hugs.

One evening, a friend came over for dinner and much-needed hugs. Another day, my husband and I spent a lazy day on the couch watching movies and ordering takeout—it was exactly what we needed. Then there was the care package from my boss—delicious soups from the sweetest company, A Spoon Full of Comfort, reminding me how much people care.

I went for a drive, listening to music that reminded me of the “me” before all of this. And a soul-healing trip to Hobby Lobby with my sister, where we cry-laughed over our Pinterest craft fails while reassuring ourselves this one would be different. Our house church prayed for us, reminding us of God's promises and the strength we receive through him.

And at the end of the week we had a night in with friends to do one of my favorite things - indulge in good food and watch football. These moments, simple but profound, have filled me with so much gratitude.

Healing with Intention

What does healing with intention mean? For me, it’s been about finding balance. I’m giving myself grace to take things slowly but I've also made the decision to move forward. It isn’t because I feel like it but because I know I need to. For my family, for my mental health, and most of all, for myself.

Moving forward doesn’t mean returning to life as it was. Trauma changes us. It reshapes how we see the world and ourselves. And while it’s not something we would ever wish for, it’s also an opportunity to rebuild with intention.

What do you want your life to look like now? What brings you joy? What do you want to focus on? These are the questions I’ve started asking myself, and they’ve given me a sense of direction as I navigate this new normal.

If you’ve experienced trauma or loss, please hear this: It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, and everything in between. But don’t stay there too long. You deserve to find joy again. You deserve to live a life that’s not defined by pain but by resilience.

There’s light ahead, and it’s worth moving toward.

With hope and strength,

McKenzie